Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Just a rant..

I am so sick and tired of being afraid of what someone will think or say about me. I wake up in the morning afraid to take a fashion risk because someone might comment on it in a negative way. A FASHION RISK. That could be seen as hardly a big deal, which it probably is. I wake up in the morning wondering if someone will turn my happiness into sadness. I wake up in the morning wondering if someone will find this blog, find out it's me and expose me while everyone laughs at me. It's crazy how one person can say something negative to you and you feel like your whole world is turned upside. Maybe I'm overexagerating or maybe i'm completely sane to you. I don't even know if anyone even cares what I'm saying right now.
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I'm angry because I feel like I can't even be myself without some cunt commenting on every word I say. I'm angry because the first man I've actually liked since my ex-boyfriend abused me, told me that I could be more "sexy-skinny". I'm angry because men view us as sex objects and only want that from us. I'm angry because my mother won't have much to do with me. I'm angry because every female in my life is a huge bitch, I have no mother role model. I'm angry because I had to learn everything by myself. I'm angry because I have to go shopping with my Dad, who mistakes my dress for pajamas. I'm angry because I want to be more but I'm wrapped in chains. I'm angry because I just want to be me, but I don't know who me is anymore.

8 comments:

  1. Wow, it sounds like things have been so hard lately. I am really sorry about that guy who said that to you. Society is teaching us that what is on the outside matters more than what's on the inside--and it is so wrong! I am sorry that you feel so burdened. I don't know everything about what is going on in your life, but I will pray for you. I know we don't know each other, but I sincerely hope that things will work out, and you'll realize how much God loves you and how many great things he has planned for you. Take care!!!

    -smilesifyXO
    smilesnomatter.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you so much. I love when I am in someones prayers. Its very much needed.

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    2. You are worth the prayers! How have you been lately?

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    3. I've been okay. I'm pretty good at staying positive but sometimes you just have to let it out.

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  2. I know the feeling, Ari. I rant out my heartaches a lot too--- the way life is rough when everything really starts to fall apart for the millionth time.

    Hang in there and if you ever want to chat, leave me a comment or pull up a google hangout or something.

    Kate
    majesticgoldenrose.weebly.com

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    1. Thank you so much. You can always email me if you want to talk. Its arimoore420@gmail.com and no I don't do marijuana I didn't even notice the 420 until I made it lol

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  3. I'm so sorry all that has been happening to you! I know exactly how you feel, I been down that road. Then I learned that I'm going to live my life for ME not for any one else. This is you're life, do what you want to do! Take all the fashion "risk" you want! If they make you happy then they have paid off. And you never have to be "sexy-skinny" that's not a thing and those people are wrong. Just be yourself, we like you just the way you are!

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    1. I'm sorry, Ellen but no one knows how one feels and the sooner you realize that the sooner you can comfort someone. I really enjoy your comments and I want to thank you for reading my blogs. I really appreciate it and you.

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